Why You Should Love Yourself

I recently spent the weekend at a silent meditation retreat with my fiancé. It's so rare we get extended periods alone to unpack and sort through our thoughts these days.

At first it felt a little strange, and it was really hard to resist the urge to share my thoughts and experiences with my fiancé, make a joke, or ask other attendees questions about their lives.But by the end of the retreat, I felt so calm, peaceful and most importantly, in touch with my own soul.

This extended period of self-reflection led to a huge and life-changing aha! moment for me.Want to hear it? I realized the incredible importance of loving yourself unconditionally. Not just when you are your perfect shining self.When your cooking totally rocks, you're having one of those awesome hair days, you say the right things, you smash out your work and personal projects, you light up the room and bluebirds follow you everywhere.

You have to love yourself on the bad days too.

When you stuff up. Say the wrong things. Your curls won't stay in. You're exhausted. Anxious. Your fears keep you awake at night. You temporarily succumb to procrastination, FOMO and too much take-out.

You are equally lovable at all times. You are an inherently worthy spiritual being having a human experience.You totally win at life simply by being here. In every moment you are fulfilling your destiny and purpose on earth - to be you, a unique and once-in-an-infinity collection of magic and energy.

Why is unconditional self-love so important?

Unconditional self-love gives you the strength and courage to try new things and to go after your dreams, because you have insurance - you know that no matter what the outcome, you love yourself deeply.

It's like a safety net; a minimum height below which you will never fall.

Knowing that you have your own back, knowing that your self-worth is not dependent on your success, drives you to try more because you've got nothing to lose - which in turn, leads to greater success.It's a lot like the saying: success does not bring happiness; happiness brings success. I have learnt that success doesn't bring self-love; self-love brings success.

Getting healthy and in shape, nabbing a boyfriend or landing a dream career role doesn't make you love yourself (at least not on a permanent basis, as what happens when they fall through or come to an end?)

An innate sense of unconditional self-love and acceptance is the foundation from which healthy living, love and career success all come in an effortless, safe and beautiful way.

So the next time you want something in your life in order to feel good about yourself, give a little chuckle at the folly of your reverse thinking, and decide to feel good about yourself NOW.

Then the things you desire will inevitably be drawn into your life.

Building Bridges

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work," he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all - and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build

Are You feeding Your Ego All Wrong?

I was so busy at work one day that when my son called I told him I'd call him right back. Two hours later I remembered. I called him--my son is just 8 years old--and he said "nevermind, Dad, I forget what I wanted." But I was pretty sure he hadn't forgotten. It was so strange to hear his voice so distant. I recognized that I hadn't been there when he wanted me for something. You can't always be there as a parent, but this time I somehow decided I didn't even have time to listen to what he wanted first.

Who knows, maybe it was something I could have helped with or answered in just 30 seconds. Now I'll never know. I realized that day that it was my ego, my self-absorption at work. Even though much of the work I do is to try to get my son the things he'll need, from food to college tuition down the road, that won't mean much if we let the moments we might connect pass by without taking advantage. The very next day I told myself to leave my ego behind. I took more deep breaths. And it didn't just work out for my son and my family, it was better for my work, too. I felt better and you know what? Feeling better was actually pretty good for my ego too. I'd just been feeding it all wrong.